She is not as easy going as in the early days - she is fiesty (to quote her Dr). When she is unhappy, it's unmistakable - she kicks, screams, and streams giant crocodile tears down her cheeks. Luckily, she is also very easily cheered so the temper doesn't last long.
She is not an affectionate baby. She often turns away from kisses and pushes away from hugs. So, I treasure her moments of cuddling when they come and hope this is just a phase. Her 6 year old cousin told me it was and that she'll learn to cuddle - she's probably right!
She is still pretty independent. Not sure if that's from necessity or personality. Here's a glimpse of her independence:
I really enjoy your blog and thank you for sharing your journey to Emerson. Congraulations on having a beautiful new addition to your family!
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, I apologize if the following sounds like a know-it-all, but I am an educator and mother/grandmother with ten siblings, nieces, nephews, etc., so I have seen a lot of children.
As long as she turns away from affection from every source, and not just those closest to her, it is probably part of her personality. If she turns away from you but loves attention from the six year old or extended family, that is a definite warning sign of attachment issues. Same thing if you find that she uses affection for her benefit. BUT--ADHD children often have a lot of trouble with cuddling and kissing. They either cannot accept it comfortably or they love it, but cannot handle it from more than one source at a time-must be quiet, one on one relationship stuff. Even two on one creates a lot of stress for them. Same for children with sensory processing problems, and sensory processing problems are not uncommon with orphans, causing them to have trouble dealing with stimulation or, just the opposite, to crave it.
I don't mean to be a dark cloud, just want to make sure that you are aware of things to take note of. Our 19 y.o. had ADHD and it is very tough to identify in girls. She did the kicking, screaming, hiding under racks in stores, super happy or completely miserable, stuff like that. Our 4 y.o. grandson has sensory processing disorder. Super affectionate but only in a very limited setting, otherwise there is just too much stimuli to process at once and he melts down. Our adopted son? Nah, nothing out of the ordinary.
Again, I apologize if this was too prosey, and hope it is all just a feisty little girl sowing little girl oats.
Happy New Year,
Ruby
Hey -
ReplyDeleteMy Yangxi girl took a very very very long time to cuddle and kiss and make eye contact and to attach securely. She still struggles sometimes. She is 5. Adopted at 8 months. Some little ones are more resilient and survive the trauma of institutionalization and adoption better than others. My wee one has had a hard, hard time. I wouldn't worry too much about ADHD or sensory issues yet.
Your daughter is so beautiful. Hang in there with patience and persistence.